vir-AH-go. n. A domineering, violent, or bad-tempered woman.
If this word sounds familiar to you, you must be a nerd: the Virago was Prince Xisor’s spaceship in Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire.
Dec 19
Review: Best Movies I Saw This Year
Iron Man and Kung Fu Panda, in that order.
I won’t belabor this point with extensive reviews, first, because lots of people already have, and second, if you don’t want to see them you don’t deserve to see them.
Iron Man is a good, fun movie. The protagonist shows a lot of character development (sort of an anti-Jumper), but not so much so as to betray who he really is.
Kung Fu Panda is also a ton of fun, and the directors did a great job of dodging sappy cliches.
Dec 19
Update: Dunkin Donuts Coffee
As I previously mentioned, Dunkin’ Donuts coffee the best coffee in the world. What I did not know is that it comes in several varieties, not just regular and dark:
- Decaf
- Cinnamon spice
- Hazelnut
- French Vanilla
God bless America.
Dec 18
Review: Victorinox USB Swiss Army Knife
As an I.T. guy, this is one of the single most useful devices ever invented, and one of the few multifunction tools which I use every part of.
Features:
- knife
- flat screwdriver / nail file
- LED flashlight
- ink pen
- USB flash drive
- scissors
The scissors are tough enough to cut through zip ties, wire ties, and neckties. The ink pen is handier than you would think for it’s microminiature size. The LED flashlight is darned bright, and the flash drive works well on Windows and Mac, and doesn’t pop any stupid errors if it is plugged into a USB 1.1 slot.
My only gripe? The screwdriver. Not that it doesn’t function like it should, because it does, and works great. But if they would only make it a Phillips screwdriver, then it would truly be the absolutely perfect knife.
You can buy it at Amazon and other places.
Dec 18
Review: Jumper
I was kind of apprehensive about seeing Jumper, as it starred Hayden Christensen, whom I despised from the Star Wars prequels. However, my brother, who generally has good taste in movies, liked it alot and after much cajoling convinced me to see it.
This was the second worst movie I saw this year.
The main turd-in-the-Coke isn’t actually Hayden Christensen: it’s his character.
Spoilers follow.
He plays a kid in high school who suddenly finds that he can teleport. He uses this power to break into bank vaults and steal piles of money, beat up bullies who picked on him in school, and impress a girl. Samuel L. Jackson plays a mean guy who tries to kill him.
Early in the movie it is quite evident that his character is a lying, evasive, deceitful jerkface. But after everything he goes through, he finally learns that–well, nothing. He doesn’t learn anything; he remains the same jerk at the end of the movie as he was at the beginning of the movie. He is absolutely the most irritating protagonist since that guy in Drum Line. That is bad enough, but the real clincher is: his chicky leaves him because–guess what–he is a lying, evasive, deceitful jerkface–but then she comes back. Why?
Finally, Samuel L. Jackson fails to kill Hayden Christensen–something he should have done in Star Wars: Episode 2.
So, save yourself two hours of your life you will never ever get back and skip Jumper.
But, you may say, what will I do with my time?
Well, you could always start a blog where you spoil movies other people really like.
Dec 18
My Christmas List
Recently I was held at gunpoint encouraged to write a Christmas list. It made Heather LOL*, so I have decided to share portions of it. As it is more blessed to give than to receive, I don’t want any of you to be blessed, and therefore I have removed all the info about where to buy–this is strictly for your amusement.
*LOL seems pretty dumb to use when someone literally laughs out loud, eh?
MadMan Dan’s Christmas List 2008
Look, buddy, or buddy-ette, whoever you are: I already told you not to get me anything, but the very fact that you are reading this shows that you have chosen to ignore me.
So fine, go ahead and buy me something.
I only want you to be happy.
If you’re still with me after the previous denials and passive-aggressive statements, here is the list. Just so I don’t have to custom-type this for each person (everyone wants to buy me presents, you know), I am lumping everything I want on here, big or small, reasonable or unreasonable.
In fact, you have probably bought me some very nice things in the past, for which I did not write you a nice thank you card.
You can still stop reading.
But I only want you to be happy.
I have included prices just so you don’t waste a bunch of time looking for something just to find it is either:
a. too expensive and who does this MadMan guy think he is?
b. too cheap and is he trying to make me look cheap?
1. Book shelves. Good ones so as to hold lots of books. I need book shelves because I have so many books. I swear, it would be cheaper at this point to get addicted to heroin, because they have free programs to wean you off of the stuff, but there’s no cure for book addiction. My current bookshelf contains books, which are stacked in such a way as to hold up more shelves, which in turn hold up more books.
2. Plunge router. Just in case I don’t get bookshelves for Christmas, I need a plunge router so I can make book shelves.
3. Bench vise. What guy doesn’t need a vise? Also, you can use it to make bookshelves
4. TV Set. I don’t want a new TV. Really. I was so content with my old one. I don’t need HD, I don’t even watch television—broadcast or cable. But I have an X-Box and a DVD player, which I enjoy very much. Or did, rather. The viewable area on my TV is now so thin it makes Yao Ming look like Mini-Me. At any rate, don’t buy me a TV; that’s dumb, they’re expensive, and I’m not asking you to. If I can’t play X-Box, then I will be forced to read books, which I don’t have nearly enough of (see 1 & 2).
5. Roll of cowhide leather. With said leather, I will use it to make books. No, I’m not kidding.
6. Griffin Technology iTalk iPod voice recorder. I have a long commute: it’s an hour each way. I have a lot of time to think, but no safe way of writing down my thoughts. However, I have an iPod that I love more than life itself. Griffin makes the best voice recorder attachment, and it would allow me to record thoughts as I have them.
7. Books. Have I mentioned how much I love books? The current form factor we use was invented over 2,000 years ago by the Romans, who called it a codex. But not just any old books: specific old books. And some new ones, too. However, I realize that books are expensive, which is why, despite my love of books, I rarely buy myself new ones.
a. The Oxford English Dictionary. This thing is 20 volumes, weighs in at about 5o pounds, and costs about 1,000 bucks. So don’t buy me it. I mean it.
b. My Word Is My Bond. By Sir Roger Moore. Yes, that Roger Moore.
c. Be the Coolest Dad on the Block. By Simon Rose. In point of fact I already am the coolest dad on the block; I just need this book so I can see if this guy is copying me.
d. You’ll Have That, Volumes 1 & 2. By Wes Molebash
8. Blackthorn bush. Blackthorn is a shrub that grows in the UK, and the Irish use it to make shillelaghs. I intend to do the same thing, but the stuff’s so hard to get ahold of I decided to grow my own. It is also known as Sloeberry, because it grows sloe berries, which the Irish use to make sloe gin and get likkered up. Even further, the shrub is also known by its Latin name as Prunus Spinosa. The Latins used it to make daggers with which to stab caesars. The only place I have found it available in America is http://www.forestfarm.com, and it runs about $20.
9. Bottled beverages. No, not those kind of bottled beverages. Simply soda in bottles with bottlecaps; it stays the fizziest. The following are available from. I’ll be your best friend for a single bottle, so there’s no need to overdo it.
- Apple Beer. Beer like root beer, not like beer beer. But with apples.
- Coca Cola. Yes, plain old Coke.
10. Movies on DVD. Yeah, I know my TV’s broke, but maybe I could come to your house and watch movies?
- Murder By Death. It has Peter Falk in it, so you know it’s good.
- Samurai Jack Season 1.
- Empire of the Sun.
- Much Ado About Nothing. Yeah, the one with Keanu Reeves.
- Young Indiana Jones Chronicles Volume II
- Father Goose. The Carey Grant classic.
- White Christmas. So I like a musical; you wanna make something of it?
- The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Buy one for yourself, and I promise you will love it. You deserve it.
11. Bowler derby hat. I can’t join the Stan Laurel Appreciation Society without one. My favorite is the Belfry Deuce-Stingy Brim Bowler.
12. Computer vacuum. I work on computers. A lot. They are usually full of dust, which is full of dead human skin cells. After a lot of research I think I found the perfect one: Metropolitan Vacuum(R) DataVac(R) 3-In-1 Cordless Computer Vacuum.
13. Swissbit 1GB USB Swiss Army Knife. Best knife in the world. If you’re an I.T. guy anyway. Which I am. Good luck finding the thing.
14. Seagate or WD 7200rpm external 250GB USB/FireWire hard drive. This is more of a need than a want. However, it’s like $100. Still, a $5 gift card to [redacted] would be just fine. Really.
15. Tow hitch for my car. Several years ago one of my awesome in-laws bought me a 14 foot aluminum V-bottom boat. I love the thing, but I got no way to haul it around. Hence, the tow bar. What does it cost? Heck if I know.
16. Coleman 1 Watt 3-AAA LED flashlight. Model # 2000000986.
17. USB to IDE/SATA hard drive adapter. Again more of a need than a want. Runs about $20. Any brand is fine.
18. Black Jeans. I need jeans, I love black. Any brand is good, size 34w x 32l. Regular fit or loose fit—no bell bottoms or boot cut. Oh, is that too specific for you, Mr. I Like Hippy Jeans? Fine then—don’t buy me any jeans. I’ll just run around butt nekkid.
Still stumped? Find my choices morally objectionable? Did I mention you don’t need to get me anything? I mean, the economy is in the toilet, you know.
But I just want me to be happy.
I mean you.
Dec 18
It’s fixed…I’m broken.
It’s fixed…
Okay, my awesome husband Daniel has fixed the weird thing at the right ——->
It now informs the readers that I am the author of this blog, although if you are reading this you must know that already. I sent out an email to some of my friends and family inviting them to visit this site along with Daniel’s. I hope we don’t disappoint you all too much and that you can appreciate our sense of humor.
I’m broken…
Okay, that is really melodramatic even for me, lol, but I fill a little broken today. I worked my first ever overnight job last night. I worked as a nurse’s assistant from 11pm to 7am at an assisted living facility. I have to tell you that I have the utmost respect for my friend Amy, who is a RN that works nights, and many/any of the other people that work the night shift. I LIKE to sleep! It feels weird going into people’s rooms while they are sleeping…to make sure that they are sleeping. I have never done this type of work before in my life and don’t see my future expanding any further then this. I am a chef and I usually don’t see this side of my customers. In fact I am glad that I don’t. I get the willies thinking about the cross-contamination that could happen. GROSS! Every person that lives there seems to be a dear, but I would rather be in the kitchen making fresh bread or decorating cakes. For right now, though, this is what I will be doing. I am praying that God will be with me every step and that I can rely on him to get me through this stage in my life. He has a reason for this even if I am not aware of it. Plus, have I mentioned, I LIKE to sleep? Ta ta for now.
Dec 17
Over there —————>
Okay, I have changed a few things around and made this more my style but I can’t figure out who this Denis guy is. He isn’t the author of what you see here but alas he is taking credit for it. I haven’t found where to change it so just ignore him for now. I am off in about 30 minutes to work and am not really looking forward to my new night shift. I LIKE to sleep at night so this will be a new adventure for me. I pray that God keeps me safe and that no one decides to have any complications tonight.
Dec 16
I Hate Jackson County, Missouri
Not all the time, just in the winter.
It baffles me how smaller, less populous, and far less wealthy counties can keep their roads clear but Jackson county cannot.
Dec 15
Newbie Blogger
Okay, we are going to try a blog for the first time. I don’t know how often it will be updated but I just started a new job and will have some nights that I need to be up and will have nothing I can do. This is also for me to chronicle my weight-loss goals and achievements. I figure that if I write it down it may help me reach my ideal weight, which is none of your business. By the way, I can’t spell worth a darn so if there is a mistake somewhere, that spell check didn’t catch, or my grammer just sucks, I don’t care. So please don’t point out this fact to me cause I already know most of my own flaws.
