Feb 02
CARL: When you say that you’re bored what do you mean by that? Are there are no libraries to go to? Are there no have books to read? Are there no languages to learn? Are there no places to visit?
AIMEE: I know when my kids say, ‘I’m bored,’ that means they don’t have access to entertainment.
CARL: Boredom seems to me to be the luxury suffering of the overstimulated middle class.
More at the Mortification of Spin podcast
Jan 30
A British pejorative meaning overly quaint, dainty, cute or nice. The word comes from a childish pronunciation of ‘sweet.’
“Those Beatrix Potter animals are a little twee for my taste.”
See more at wiktionary.
Jan 27
“What we often mean by legalism is someone who is more serious about obedience than I am.”
Jan 21
Norville took the long way home. It gave him time to think and to reflect, he told himself. It gave him time to avoid responsibility, he knew.
Norville was tired of being responsible. Not that he was tired of being held responsible for things, but simply tired of being reliable. Why couldn’t he have just stayed in perpetual adolescence like Fred? Sure he’d be living hand to mouth, but Fred seemed to do all right. He would just have to find someone more responsible than him to mooch off of.
“Responsibility sucks,” he thought.
The rain seemed to feel that its attempts to drown the entire county were inadequate, so it redoubled its efforts, buffeting Norville’s car with great sheets of angry water. The wipers tried and miserably failed to improve the situation, and visibility vanished. Norville’s pulled over to the side of the road and waited.
“I don’t know if I even have Daph’s number anymore,” he rationalized to himself. He checked his phone–her number was still in his Favorites, below Velma and above Fred.
“It’s not like I’ll get a signal in this rain anyway,” he tried. Then he tried the call.
One ring.
“She won’t pick up.”
Two rings.
“She probably–”
“Shaggy, is that you?”
Crap
“Crap.”
“What was that, Shag?”
“Sorry–had food in my mouth.”
“I figured as much. Why don’t you come down to the office? Maybe you’ll be ready for some lunch by the time you get here.”
Crap.
But he was hungry again.
Jan 17
Now, I’m definitely not in the army, nor have I ever been (three semesters of ROTC doesn’t count). I don’t wear fatigues to work, either, just slacks and Hawaiian shirts. The other day I was wearing this one:
There are a lot of children where I work. That’s not a pejorative–I work at a children’s hospital, so seeing children literally everywhere I go is pretty normal. The other morning I was walking through the hall and a little guy, probably about six, sees me and excitedly (and quite mistakenly) yells:
“YOU IN THE ARMEEEEEE!”
Jan 11
It’s true, though you never saw the episode–and never will.
Obviously they had to sample my cooking, which was no big deal. They loved my chili.
Then I had to audition, which kind of shattered my reality TV illusion. They didn’t love my acting (who does?), but they gave me a chance to take some acting lessons and try back in six months. It came out to eight months due to scheduling conflicts on both of our parts. Four months after that I showed up for filming. I actually met Alton Brown at this time, who was personable and funny, even off camera (as I expected). I also met some of the other chefs, who all come in to film their bits at once unless they are actually part of a challenge.
Next the technical directors showed us where to step to avoid the array of power, video, data, and other miscellaneous cables. We got into our positions with our crews, and they readied the cameras to record our reaction shots as they prepared for the big reveal.
When it came time to challenge, I told them I wanted to challenge Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet. I grew up watching him on PBS and it was his red beans & rice that I fixed for my first date with Heather. Unfortunately they said I could not challenge him due to 1) unsavory allegations made against him and 2) the problem of his being dead.
No big deal, I thought, he was my second choice anyway. I figured if they turned me down once then they would have to accommodate my second choice. I then revealed the true choice of my challenge: Paula Deen!
There were many gasps as Paula made her way out from the rest of the chefs.Each of us took our places and they filmed several takes as we stared each other down.
Then came the big reveal: “The secret ingredient is–BUTTER!”
Seriously? I just challenged Paula Deen and the secret ingredient is butter?
I walked off the set.
Jan 08
“I grew up an Irish Presbyterian, so what that means is when we go to rugby matches and beat England like we did at the weekend, we scream and shout and roar and jump our hands in the air.
Then we going to church on Sundays and talk about being miraculously saved from Hell and we stand there like somebody stole our donuts.”
Dec 31
“I should tell you that it’s a double first for me to be here at this conference. First of all because this is the first time I’ve ever spoken at a conference in California and it’s the first time I’ve ever eaten a burrito.
I hope perhaps to come again to conferences in California, and never again to eat a burrito.”
