It’s true, though you never saw the episode–and never will.
Obviously they had to sample my cooking, which was no big deal. They loved my chili.
Then I had to audition, which kind of shattered my reality TV illusion. They didn’t love my acting (who does?), but they gave me a chance to take some acting lessons and try back in six months. It came out to eight months due to scheduling conflicts on both of our parts. Four months after that I showed up for filming. I actually met Alton Brown at this time, who was personable and funny, even off camera (as I expected). I also met some of the other chefs, who all come in to film their bits at once unless they are actually part of a challenge.
Next the technical directors showed us where to step to avoid the array of power, video, data, and other miscellaneous cables. We got into our positions with our crews, and they readied the cameras to record our reaction shots as they prepared for the big reveal.
When it came time to challenge, I told them I wanted to challenge Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet. I grew up watching him on PBS and it was his red beans & rice that I fixed for my first date with Heather. Unfortunately they said I could not challenge him due to 1) unsavory allegations made against him and 2) the problem of his being dead.
No big deal, I thought, he was my second choice anyway. I figured if they turned me down once then they would have to accommodate my second choice. I then revealed the true choice of my challenge: Paula Deen!
There were many gasps as Paula made her way out from the rest of the chefs.Each of us took our places and they filmed several takes as we stared each other down.
Then came the big reveal: “The secret ingredient is–BUTTER!”
Seriously? I just challenged Paula Deen and the secret ingredient is butter?
I walked off the set.
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