Jul 20

Overheard: 9 year old female

“You can pee in this water.”

She said this when she was about two feet away from me in the lake.

Jul 15

I got yer pig

Several years ago I went to a independent wrestling event with Dave, the Celt, and Mrs. Celt. The event was put on by MRW, a small federation from the St. Louis area. The wrestlers acted as their own ring crew and souvenir sales, they had a lot of energy, and put on a great show. As it was such a small promotion, we had great seats. In front of us were a big fat guy and his big fat girlfriend.

First, some pro-wrestling lingo:

face=good guy
heel=bad guy
gimmick=stage persona

The only match I remember was between some face and a heel named Screech (not to be confused with Saved By The Bell’s Screech, who also did some wrestling). Screech’s gimmick was that he was a disrespectful jerk, and for some reason he had an inflatable pig about the size of a large beach ball. Screech put up a good fight, but ultimately lost. After the match, the face kicked Screech’s pig into the audience, where it was caught by by the aforementioned big fat guy.

After the show, as Screech and the other wrestlers were taking down the ring and packing up to go, the BFG in front of us started taunting Screech:

“Hey, Screech, I got yer pig! Hey Screech, I got yer pig!”

The couple thought this was pretty hilarious.

Screech looked at Mrs. BFG, and yelled:

“I don’t want her; you can have her!”

And that’s when they stopped finding it funny.

Jul 13

Cousaunts & Cousuncles

k’ZANT, k’ZUNKLE, n. member of a family who was one’s cousin, but through intra-family adulterous relationships, have now also become one’s aunt or uncle.

I heard these words from some friends of mine who are a married couple, and who had these unique relatives on both his and her side of their family.

Jul 08

Overheard: 35 year old female

“Well, my grandma was evil.”

Jul 06

Ireland, Texas

There is a lot of confusion about the Garth Brooks song Ireland. Most people mistakenly (and logically) believe that the song is about the nation of Ireland, but in fact it is about a small town in Texas. While Brooks is a native Oklahoman, he is a keen buff of Texas history.

Ireland, Texas was founded in 1841 by Seamus O’Finn after he fled Ireland because of the potato famine. The town flourished. However, Seamus found that the Texan accent was fully developed, and the town’s name was consistently mispronounced. After O’Finn died in 1911 the town council voted to change the name to fit the residents’ pronunciation–to Arlen, Texas.

Jul 04

Happy Independence Day

“And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”

Jun 20

Happy Father’s Day

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” –English proverb

Jun 18

Return of the MadMan

I will be returning from hiatus on July 6, 2010, and will be updating the site every Tuesday and Thursday, with possible interruptions as Vacation Bible School nears in August. See you then.

May 12

Hiatus

I’m going to take a break from the site for  a while; I’ll probably pick it back up in July. See ya later.

May 02

Quotable: Peter Lorre

“Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart just in case?”

Said to Vincent Price at Bela Lugosi’s funeral.