Sep 29

Bunto

So I learned another word in my sleep. Quite some time ago I posted how I had learned a word in my sleep–pickle-faced–and it was a word I hadn’t ever heard until my dream. Two nights ago it happened again.

In my dream the word wasn’t explained.

“I killed three buntos,” the guy said.

When I woke up I googled the word ‘bunto,’ which it turns out is a slang term meaning someone who is unrelated, but who is as close as a sibling.

Sep 27

A fix for ‘no SIM card detected’ on iPhone

A couple of months ago I picked up a second-hand iPhone 3G and jailbroke it so I could run it on T-Mobile. The thing is amazing. It replaced my iPod Classic, Palm m515, and Motorola Razr, and does more than all three devices did.

The only real issue I have had with it is that twice now I have lost service due to the phone not recognizing the SIM card. Fortunately, the fix is easy: just power the phone off, remove the SIM card, breathe on it like you would an old Nintendo cartridge, reinsert it, and power back on.

I’m not saying this is the fix, but a fix that worked for me.

Sep 23

Review: Mel’s Diner in Tipton, Missouri

I stopped at Mel’s Diner on 50 Highway on my way back from Rolla last week. Mel’s is a little steel building with a ketchup and mustard interior. Service was decent, despite the large party they had in the back.

I ordered the Kosher Corn Beef sandwich. The sandwich was fine , but when you pay $6 for a sandwich you kind of expect something pretty good sized–not something the size of two White Castle sliders.

Sep 20

Review: Big D’z Dawgz

Besides being uncomfortable to type, Big D’z Dawgz is a food vendor that can be found during the week on Holmes street between Children’s Mercy Hospital and UMKC Med School in Kansas City, Missouri.

Due to an imposed hot dog and french fry diet earlier in my life, I didn’t eat hot dogs with any regularity or preference until 2007 when Heather and I went to Chicago and stopped at Portillo’s, when I had my first Chicago-style dog (mustard, onions, peppers, tomato, and pickle). It was amazing.

Big D’z, as you might have guessed, is a hot dog vendor. No, you can’t get a Chicago-style dog, nor a Carolina-style dog (onions, coleslaw, and chili). But you can get a big quarter pound beef hot dog.

I ordered a dog, which was $4.25. The only condiments that were available were ketchup, mustard, and relish. But at least they have dill relish, which is worlds better than the standard sweet pickle relish you find everywhere.

When I sat down to eat, I found two surprises:

  1. The dog was cold. I don’t mean that the surface cooled on my transit from the vendor to my desk; I mean the inside was cold
  2. The dill relish I slathered on my dog was actually sweet relish that had been put into a dill relish bottle.

I know it’s wrong to pun, but I want to share my unhappiness.

I didn’t relish the experience.

Sep 17

Review: Smokin’ Aces BBQ

Smokin’ Aces BBQ is a food vendor found on Holmes street between Children’s Mercy Hospital and UMKC Med School in Kansas City, Missouri.

My first impression of Smokin’ Aces was of some place I didn’t want to visit: a black travel trailer with the words, ‘Smokin’ Aces BBQ’ painted on the side in red and yellow brushstrokes.

I ordered a barbecue beef sandwich, which was $6. The sandwich came on two pieces of white bread like Rosedale’s BBQ does, which I don’t care for that since it tends to get all squishy. However, it came with probably a full pound of meat, which he cut off of the brisket while I waited. Some of it just melted in your mouth, some of it was a little chewier. The sauce was truly unique, but I’m still on the fence whether I like it or not; it was very tomatoey, and there was some spice I couldn’t quite identify (basil, maybe?). The texture of the sauce was similar to Arthur Bryant’s.

Overall, the experience was good, the food was good, and I was happy with the amount of food I got for the price (I got 1-1/2 lunches out of it).

However, soda connoisseurs take note: if you order a Coke, you will receive an RC Cola (also like Rosedale’s).

Sep 15

Personal question

Last week when we were at the store picking up a couple of things, a clerk named Rachel had helped us. She is in high school. When Heather went back a couple days ago, Rachel was working again.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” she asked Heather as she rung he up.

“Suuurrrre,” said Heather, a little warily.

“Are you and your daughters’ father married?”

“Sixteen years. Why do you ask?”

“You just seem like such a cute couple.”

————

I don’t think it was a rude question. It’s more of a valid question, which I guess is what makes it so sad. The general perception of marriage is one of boredom, drudgery and misery until one can finally break free of the bum/loser/tyrant/shrew he or she was saddled with. Singleness and divorce are frequently perceived as full of freedom, choice, and opportunity.

Married people are largely to blame for this stereotype. Marriage is a commitment, and it is (at times) hard work. Unfortunately, there are only a handful of qualifications to get married, and those are relatively easy to meet. Getting married is cheap and easy, so it shouldn’t be any wonder that people who have no business promising to stay devoted no matter what do so. It’s no real wonder that in Roman Catholicism there are 25 patron saints of difficult marriages (there is only one patron saint of happy marriages: St. Valentine).

The baffling thing is that we in America, do not, as a rule, practice arranged marriage, so unhappiness with one’s spouse is largely a result of one’s choices.

Sep 11

Quotable: Ray Bradbury

“It affects us only one way: We’re angry as [expletive deleted]. And we have to find these people and kill them. It’s very simple, you can’t let them get away with this. This is a terrible, terrible thing they’ve done.”

–Ray Bradbury in the Chicago Tribune, September 12, 2001.

Sep 10

Movies better than their books

People usually say that books are always better than the movies made from them. I can think of a few exceptions, whose movies are markedly better than their source material. I don’t intend to provide any justification for my view; it’s just a list:

  1. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, based on Who Censored Roger Rabbit? by Gary K. Wolf
  2. The Quiet Man, based on the short story The Quiet Man by Maurice Walsh
  3. Die Hard, based on Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorp
  4. Stardust, based on Stardust by Neil Gaiman

Sep 01

So you want a Jeep

My wife had wanted a Jeep ever since she was a kid (probably from watching too much Dukes of Hazzard and MacGyver). Anyway, the 20-year wait was recently over and we picked her up a 1988 Wrangler after my awesome Mazda finally bit the dust just shy of 350,000 miles.

First, a Jeep Wrangler is kind of like a a really cute girlfriend. She’s fun to be with, she’s really cool, lots of fun, and you like to be seen with her. However, she won’t cook or clean or get a job or go to college, she makes you do everything yourself, and everything she wants is really expensive.

If you have considered buying a Jeep, but don’t know anything about them, I have compiled a handy list of things it would be good to know to help you make an informed decision.

  1. They leak. If you are looking at a Jeep, first look for caulking/silicone around the windshield. Then have your buddy spray it really good with a hose, especially around the windshield and see if it leaks or bubbles.
  2. They rust. If the leak issue isn’t corrected, the floor is going to rust out. Get your buddy to crawl under the Jeep while you stomp on the floor.
  3. Parts are expensive. You want a window crank? $15. You want a mirror (not a power mirror or anything fancy–just a piece of glass that bolts onto the door)? $50. Hydraulic clutch goes out? $750.
  4. The windshields are bug magnets. I mean, it’s perfectly perpendicular to the path you’re traveling; you’re gonna get bug guts all over it.
  5. The vent. On most cars, setting your climate control to ‘vent’ means that the fan will blow in air from the outside, not through the heater or the air conditioner. On a Jeep, the vent is simply a hole cut in the firewall. You need more air? Drive faster.
  6. The 4 cylinder model has no power. That’s not entirely true, but it is like Dave Barry said about the Nash Rambler: like those kiddie rides in front of Walmart, but with less power.

Aug 26

VBS Hangover

A friend of mine coined this term to describe the fatigue experienced by those church members that worked Vacation Bible School and which contributed to their tardiness the following Sunday morning.