When I was laid off in the last recession I would pick up my daughter and my friend’s son from preschool. My friend isn’t know for his mechanical expertise–he’s an amazing musician, but you do not want him working on your car. Or water heater. Or, well, anything that requires tools, which was good as […]
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Tag: kids
One night my wife and daughter were helping in the church nursery. Our friend’s three year old son was in there, and he was having some difficulty walking, his hands down the back of his pants. “What are you doing?” my wife asked. “My vroom-vrooms are in my butt!” he replied. For those of you […]
A few years ago my daughter, Ally, who was seven at the time, came back to my office. “Dad, I want you to tell me the truth,” she said seriously. It’s always scary when one of your kids says that. “OK,” I said. “There’s no Santa Claus, is there?” I took a deep breath and […]
One of my children used to have an imaginary friend, a rabbit named Hop-Hop Bunny, who had a brother named Hop-Hop. They were from Hop-Hop Land (I know you didn’t see that coming). We heard several Hop-Hop Bunny stories from the time our daughter was in preschool through first grade. One day we were working […]
“I hope no girls find me attractive when I’m in high school. I’m going to be a geek like my big brother; no girls try to date him.”
I learned a new euphemism the other night when I was holding my friends’ six month old baby boy. I haven’t held one for years, but I still kind of remember how. Anyway, I was holding him so he was reclining. His four year old sister came over to have a look, I guess to make sure […]
I walked outside. It was September, cool, and overcast. Suddenly, the sun jumped out from its cloudy cover. I squinted against the sudden brightness. “Ow!” said a small child, experiencing the same thing. “What?” asked his mother. “That burns my eyes!” he replied. Never had I wanted so much to blurt out: “The goggles! They […]
“I snuck a beer.” The guy who told me this looked to be about 6 years old. He didn’t say it like he was bragging. “Are you supposed to be drinking beer?” I asked him. “No,” he said. “I poured it out. I thought my mom was going to smell my breath.”
Yesterday, specifically. We were on the way back from the Mickey and there was a woman with two young boys around three and five on the elevator with us. The three year old had a tendency to wander (I know you’re as shocked as I was). The elevator door opened at a floor different than […]
Several years ago a friend of mine was eating some chips. His five year old son (who was supposed to be getting in bed), came up behind him. “Can I have some of your chips?” “No.” His son paused for a few seconds and then said: “The Bible says you have to share everything.” My […]