We had been out of town for a couple of weeks due to a death in the family, and as we heard later, our daughter’s best friend took the absence kind of hard. Finally one day she sat down mopily and said: “I’m friendsick.”
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: stories
The McDonald’s I get my coffee at frequently gives me a discounted senior coffee. I figured it was because they liked me, or they just like rewarding their frequent fliers, not because of all the gray in my beard. But some time ago I was at a McDonald’s in downtown Kansas City and they gave […]
Several years ago a friend of mine was eating some chips. His five year old son (who was supposed to be getting in bed), came up behind him. “Can I have some of your chips?” “No.” His son paused for a few seconds and then said: “The Bible says you have to share everything.” My […]
According to my Aunt Carol, my grandma used to curse people. You know, as in the hex kind of curse. When my aunt got married, Grandma made this proclamation: “You will never own a home as long as you are married to him.” According to my aunt, the curses always came true. I didn’t see it […]
My friend’s wife works in an ER, and sometimes it can be pretty depressing. The other day she mentioned they were seeing a 13 year old who tested positive for cocaine. “Go home and hug your kids and tell them not to do cocaine,” she told me. I did. The girls were pretty bummed, of […]
My friend Bruce used to teach the Primary class at church. One muggy July evening he had taken his class outside, and they were walking around the church. About half way around, one of the boys had grown tired of the heat and offered this: “The Bible says, ‘If a man sweats, let him go […]
As Bill Cosby would say, I told you the previous story to tell you this story. Several years ago when my girls were about five and seven, Heather and I took them hiking at Ha Ha Tonka state park in Camdenton, Missouri. After we had hiked from the castle all the way down past the […]
My friend Wilxn was telling me about the time when he was 12 and he and some friends found a dead cow. “It was all dead and bloated,” he started. “So I grabbed a long stick–” “You poked it?” I asked incredulously. “I didn’t even get the chance,” he said. “It just exploded!”
My friend Wilkson always had a hard time with people misreading or mispronouncing his name: Wilkerson, Wilskerin, Wilkerins, Wilskerinson, etc. But I think I have come up with a clean, phonetic replacement: Wilxn. I realize there is a small chance it could be pronounced wilzn, but I’m willing to take my chances.
When my friend’s son was about three I was teasing him. “Why is your nose so flat?” I asked. “It’s got boogers in it!” he replied.