Category: stories

Dec 10

Worst. Vacation. Ever. pt. 1

“I hope you have a horrible vacation.” Those were the last words my boss said to me two years ago before I went on what is now known as The Worst. Vacation. Ever. I posted a tiny summary of this here right after it happened. He was kidding (I think). Now, two years later, I …

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Nov 28

Cravings, pt. 2

So, previously I mentioned that I had another cravings story, but I have been informed that I do not, under pain of…pain or something worse.

Nov 23

Dumpster Divin’

Way back in the day the 9-530 crew at work was awesome. It consisted of me, Kaleb, Jimmy, and Timmy. One night close to Christmas we clocked out together and headed to the shuttle. On the way we passed a certain department. The custodians had left a dumpster outside the department, and they had discarded …

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Oct 24

ambeer

n. tobacco juice, or perhaps more accurately, tobacco spit. From now on when I highlight a word, I am going to try to, as the OED does, offer a quotation. In this case, a story: So we’re all sitting around playing D&D: Me, Mike, Kevin, and other people unimportant to this story. Kevin and I …

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Sep 30

attendance quiz

Back when I was in art school, I served two semesters of hard time in Dr. McDermott’s ‘art in the dark’ (art history) class. I both loathed and loved that class; it was so amazingly hard and fascinating at the same time. McDermott was thoroughly convinced that you could not learn the history of art …

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Sep 21

Most loved and overlooked

Probably one of the gifts I most appreciate–and most take for granted–is a gift that is quite common in the 21st century United States. Most people have it, it is free, and it is available to all. In fact, it is even imposed on a good deal of people quite against their wills–as it was …

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Sep 12

‘scuse me while I kiss this guy

I don’t know how long people have been mishearing lyrics to songs; I guess as long as there have been songs. Of course ‘Excuse me while I kiss this guy,’ from Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze is probably the most famous. For years a female I won’t mention thought that song in Austin Powers was Secret …

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Sep 11

Pastrydultery

I have long despised bananas. Maybe ‘despised’ is too harsh, but I certainly was not fond them. Before July I only ate maybe four bananas a year, just whenever I got a potassium-deficiency-induced craving. Since being diagnosed with diverticulitis, I have changed my diet significantly for the better, and eat 1-2 bananas a day. But …

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Sep 05

I sold my van to rock and roll

Several years ago our church purchased a new (to us) bus. We had finally outgrown our 15 passenger van, and due to the cost of insurance to even own the thing, let alone drive it, we decided to sell it. We parked it out in front of the church with a phone number and a …

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Aug 25

Ace Days: Military

I used to work for the late Tom Runge of Ace R/C. Since Ace was a small company, you often got pulled off of your regular job to help do any number of things like driving people to the airport or unloading heavy boxes of catalogs. One day I was helping Tom and several older …

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