Category: humor

Ron Hamilton: tenor avenger

Not, not basses as in the fish, but basses as in those guys who sing parts lower than tenor and baritone. I don’t know if you’ve ever sang bass, but bass is the low male part, kind of the tuba of voices. As you might expect, basses sing notes that are on the aptly-named bass …

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Jeyson stories

My friends Jeyson has a funny way of telling stories. Not ha-ha funny, but peculiar funny. He starts with a brilliant opening that draws you in: “One time in college, me and Bill and Toby went hiking high in the mountains of Nepal.” Then he builds it up: “When we camped that night, we heard …

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Making it right

As an apology to moviegoers everywhere, M. Night Shyamalan has been touring the country visiting with people and offering to make things right with everyone who saw The Happening–by letting them kick him in the crotch. “I figure I have it coming,” said a hobbling Shyamalan. “That movie really was a turd sandwich.” Shyamalan is …

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Little Known Fact: Lee Greenwood

Unknown to most people, country music star Lee Greenwood is not American, but Canadian. The misnomer caused further confusion when Greenwood released his 1983 hit, which most people misunderstand to be “God Bless the U.S.A.” In fact, the real title, which reflects his native dialect, is “God Bless the U.S., Eh?”

Jiggery-pokery

n. Underhanded scheming or behavior; cheating. Yes, it’s a real word, and not just a Wizard Swear.

Review: My Word is My Bond

For Christmas my pa-in-law got me My Word is My Bond, a memoir by Sir Roger Moore of James Bond fame. It was a lot of fun, and I read it in two days. Moore had some hilarious stories involving scads of people in Hollywood and the theater and film industries. The book was awesome except …

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Snownami

n. An American portmanteau of the Old English word snow and the latter half of the Japanese word tsunami. Coined by my friend Chris, it describes a snowfall of epic proportions. While it may be used literally (“Man, Nebraska just got hit with a snownami! They got eight feet of snow!”), it is more frequently …

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Sketchbook: Teddy Roosevelt

Little known fact: Theodore Roosevelt simultaneously invented pants and coined the term “teddy bear” by ripping a bear in two  and jamming his feet through the bottom half.

My Christmas List

Recently I was held at gunpoint encouraged to write a Christmas list. It made Heather LOL*, so I have decided to share portions of it. As it is more blessed to give than to receive, I don’t want any of you to be blessed, and therefore I have removed all the info about where to …

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