Category: humor

Oct 07

My first float trip

When I was seven and my brother was four we went with my Dad and his friend Roy on a float trip. I don’t remember the river, but I do remember a lot of things about the trip. One thing was at one point in the river, over to the side, there was this circle …

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Oct 05

Feeds

I learned a new euphemism the other night when I was holding my friends’ six month old baby boy. I haven’t held one for years, but I still kind of remember how. Anyway, I was holding him so he was reclining. His four year old sister came over to have a look, I guess to make sure …

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Oct 03

Free Wallpaper: Jefftones

Some of you still remember the legend of Cap’n Jeff, some of you are too young. Young or old, you can still download some sweet free wallpaper for Cap’n Jeff and the Jefftones. Enjoy! Jefftones is available in 1600 x 1200 (standard) and 1440 x 900 (wide). Just right click and Save As (Windows) or Option-Click (Mac).

Oct 01

My eyes

I walked outside. It was September, cool, and overcast. Suddenly, the sun jumped out from its cloudy cover. I squinted against the sudden brightness. “Ow!” said a small child, experiencing the same thing. “What?” asked his mother. “That burns my eyes!” he replied. Never had I wanted so much to blurt out: “The goggles! They …

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Sep 28

Beer

“I snuck a beer.” The guy who told me this looked to be about 6 years old. He didn’t say it like he was bragging. “Are you supposed to be drinking beer?” I asked him. “No,” he said. “I poured it out. I thought my mom was going to smell my breath.”

Sep 23

I almost had a son

Yesterday, specifically. We were on the way back from the Mickey and there was a woman with two young boys around three and five on the elevator with us. The three year old had a tendency to wander (I know you’re as shocked as I was). The elevator door opened at a floor different than …

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Sep 17

Leash laws

One day I took the guys in my Sunday School class hiking at Burr Oak Woods and then we went to the Bass Pro Shop. We had a great day together, I got some cool pictures, and the guys all got a nap in the car on the way home (I guess they can’t keep …

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Sep 15

Onomatopoeias and ulterior motives

Someone pointed out to me that I hadn’t disclosed the entire story in my previous post. The truth is, my friend’s real name isn’t Logan; we just call him that because he looks like Wolverine. To that end, he is the recipient of lots of Weapon X-related teasing. Like the day I looked at his hand …

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Aug 28

Test of faith

A friend of mine from our Baptist church and I recently took at trip and we stayed the night at the house of a Baptist couple. By ‘night’ I mean ‘four hours.’ Anyway, we got up the next morning anxious to get back on the road. Our hostess was insistent on fixing us something for …

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Aug 23

Swine Flue / H1N1

You can’t call it Swine Flu anymore. It’s H1N1, ever since U.S. pork producers lobbied to have it changed. The difference between the terms ‘Swine Flu’ and ‘H1N1’ is that Swine Flu just rolls off the tongue, while Aitch One En One does not. I therefore propose the following pronunciation for the overhyped malady: pronounce …

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