Category: humor

Nov 25

Cake or death

Once, Heather and the girls went out of town for Thanksgiving; I was stuck at home because I had to work. But before Heather left, she made a chocolate cake. So I had cake for breakfast that first day. When I came home for lunch, I didn’t feel like cooking, so I had chocolate cake …

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Nov 23

Pyrrhic victory

n., a victory won at too great a cost too great to make it worthwhile. A long time ago my wife-to-be and I were heading back to our apartment from her parents’ house on a gravel road. I was driving, and Heather was nagging. She had quickly tired of my driving, and I had quickly …

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Nov 20

Best 4th of July ever

My favorite 4th of July memory happened the summer after I turned 12. We were over at the house of one of my Dad’s friends, a loud German guy named Bob. Bob lived in Kansas, and despite the state’s reputation for flatness, Bob lived on an amazingly steep hill. Both his front and back yards sloped …

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Nov 16

But I won’t do that

1993 saw the out-of-nowhere comeback of Meat Loaf with his hit I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That). According to Mr. Loaf, ‘What is “that?” is one of the questions he is most frequently asked, and Jim Steinman, the songwriter, says that there are several clues as to what ‘that‘ is …

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Nov 01

Perfection

I recently worked on a computer for someone. While I was there, the guy was at another desk eating his lunch. It sounded like this: munch munch Munch Munch MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH with his mouth open smick smack smick smack munch munch MUNCH MUNCH While I continued to type away clickity typity clickity typity …

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Oct 27

Overheard: 30 year old female

“Why come my mines ain’t ringin’?”

Oct 25

Tales from Hop-Hop Land: Chapter 1

One of my children used to have an imaginary friend, a rabbit named Hop-Hop Bunny, who had a brother named Hop-Hop. They were from Hop-Hop Land (I know you didn’t see that coming). We heard several Hop-Hop Bunny stories from the time our daughter was in preschool through first grade. One day we were working …

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Oct 17

Alms for the poor

Back in the 60s my grampa, my dad, and my uncle used to drive to Kansas City to stay in an apartment and work all week, then drive back home to southern Missouri on the weekends. Dad said when they got back to the apartment, my uncle would get out an old can and say, …

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Oct 15

Overheard: 11 year old male

“I hope no girls find me attractive when I’m in high school. I’m going to be a geek like my big brother; no girls try to date him.”

Oct 09

Pickle-faced

verb, adjective; to face a chair toward a wall and/or turn its back to a person. Example: “She’s pickle-faced her chair and won’t come out.” The word, its usage, and the example I just used came to me in a dream last night. After some research I have found out that it is actually a …

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