Chapter One The Boy Who Lived Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect….
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: humor
I’m not doing it. I am NOT doing this. They led me to believe that this chick was totally hot, and it is not true. I am not reading Harry Potter to this girl. So I pushed the button to summon the stewardess and she shows up and I ask her to please ask Air […]
I promised Mr. Poynter I would keep these posts fairly clean since they’re on his blog, so it’s hard for me to find the words to express my. uncontrollable. rage. at. this. point. Let’s just say that apparently if you model plus-size swimwear you are still technically considered a swimsuit model.
So I’m sitting there in first class enjoying my complimentary beverage and the stewardess comes up and says, “Oh, I see you are sitting with Marshal So-And-So,” and I say, “Why yes, I am.” And then she says, “Well, his daughter should be here soon. She’s on her way to the Caribbean.” “How about that,” […]
Man, that almost turned ugly for a second. First, I can’t believe anyone legitimately thinks I’m that guy from Harry Potter, and second, I still can’t believe that guy used his muscle as an Air Marshal to make me read to his daughter on the plane. But, you know what they say about silver linings: […]
This week my friend B is going on a cruise. He wanted to keep us up to date, but didn’t want to set up his own blog, so I told him he could just upload posts to mine, so you’ll see those throughout the week.
That’s got to be the greatest mixed metaphor ever, a combination of “rare as hen’s teeth” and “like pulling teeth.” It’s kind of humorous, but I suppose it still could still be descriptive: not only is a task difficult, but it’s difficulty is now compounded by scarcity. The only direct application I can think of […]
A while back my friend The Bob texted me to let me know he had found the Hebrew version of my alias, MadMan, in the Bible: Joshua 15:31 “And Ziklag, and Madmannah, and Sansannah,” I thought that was exceedingly cool, and over the weekend I decided to look up the meaning. It means ‘dunghill.’
I’m making a cudgel. For those of you who are not Howard Pyle aficionados, a cudgel is a heavy staff with which to deter or defeat enemies (those without missile weapons, anyway). The one I am making is only about four feet tall–perfect for a miniature nerd. Which is good, as it is for a […]
A few years ago my daughter, Ally, who was seven at the time, came back to my office. “Dad, I want you to tell me the truth,” she said seriously. It’s always scary when one of your kids says that. “OK,” I said. “There’s no Santa Claus, is there?” I took a deep breath and […]