Dan Poynter

Author's posts

Sep 30

attendance quiz

Back when I was in art school, I served two semesters of hard time in Dr. McDermott’s ‘art in the dark’ (art history) class. I both loathed and loved that class; it was so amazingly hard and fascinating at the same time. McDermott was thoroughly convinced that you could not learn the history of art …

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Sep 27

Overheard: 28 yr old woman

“I’ve been banned from yoga, so my whole bottom half is bigger.”

Sep 24

Quotable: General Sternwood from The Big Sleep

“Hum, nice state of affairs when a man has to indulge his vices by proxy.” I thought of this as I brought in donuts for the guys this morning.

Sep 21

Most loved and overlooked

Probably one of the gifts I most appreciate–and most take for granted–is a gift that is quite common in the 21st century United States. Most people have it, it is free, and it is available to all. In fact, it is even imposed on a good deal of people quite against their wills–as it was …

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Sep 18

Crime and Punishment

I just finished programming a robot that evaluates life forms and if determined to be human, follows a pretty straightforward If/Then sequence: IF [CHEWING_GUM_WITH_MOUTH_OPEN=TRUE] THEN [PUNCH_IN_THROAT] If you happen to receive a punch in the throat due to said activity, I’m sorry. But you had it coming.

Sep 15

Overheard: 30 yr old male

“I guess I’m at the bottom of the universe right now.”

Sep 12

‘scuse me while I kiss this guy

I don’t know how long people have been mishearing lyrics to songs; I guess as long as there have been songs. Of course ‘Excuse me while I kiss this guy,’ from Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze is probably the most famous. For years a female I won’t mention thought that song in Austin Powers was Secret …

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Sep 11

Pastrydultery

I have long despised bananas. Maybe ‘despised’ is too harsh, but I certainly was not fond them. Before July I only ate maybe four bananas a year, just whenever I got a potassium-deficiency-induced craving. Since being diagnosed with diverticulitis, I have changed my diet significantly for the better, and eat 1-2 bananas a day. But …

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Sep 08

ride the pine

To be stuck sitting on the bench during a baseball game.

Sep 05

I sold my van to rock and roll

Several years ago our church purchased a new (to us) bus. We had finally outgrown our 15 passenger van, and due to the cost of insurance to even own the thing, let alone drive it, we decided to sell it. We parked it out in front of the church with a phone number and a …

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