They stopped near a little island somewhere in the Caribbean so we could go ashore and wander around (I guess they had already scoped the island to make sure there weren’t any cannibals or something). Me and the guys are just kind of hanging out there in the shallows taking in the scenery when I […]
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
I swear, this better be the last thing that goes on this cruise or I’m gonna do something felonious. First, a story: one time when I was three I got separated from my mom in the store. I was cool, so I just walked up to the chick in the toy section and started talking […]
This ship is great. If you’ve never been on a cruise ship, lemme ‘splain: It’s big, man. I mean, it’s huuuuuuuge. Let’s just say its….must…resist…yo…mama…joke. Anyway, it’s rather large. Everything is super clean, the fresh salt air is amazing, and it rides so smooth you pretty much can’t possibly get seasick. The weather is pretty […]
The rest of the flight (after the initial weirdness) was uneventful. I got moved back to coach with my buddies and proceeded to overindulge in a little refreshment (can I say that on here, Mr. Poynter?). Anyway, by the time the plane hit the ground I had to be carried so I didn’t hit the […]
Apparently kissing an Air Marshal’s daughter is a chargeable offense. My trial date is April 15.
So I had been reading Harry Potter to the Air Marshall’s daughter for over an hour (30 minutes on the tarmac, 3o minutes in the air) and man, my throat was dry. What do we have to drink? Milk, water, and Diet Sprite (Princess Butterface is underage, and as her “companion” I too am forbidden […]
Chapter One The Boy Who Lived Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect….
I’m not doing it. I am NOT doing this. They led me to believe that this chick was totally hot, and it is not true. I am not reading Harry Potter to this girl. So I pushed the button to summon the stewardess and she shows up and I ask her to please ask Air […]
I promised Mr. Poynter I would keep these posts fairly clean since they’re on his blog, so it’s hard for me to find the words to express my. uncontrollable. rage. at. this. point. Let’s just say that apparently if you model plus-size swimwear you are still technically considered a swimsuit model.
So I’m sitting there in first class enjoying my complimentary beverage and the stewardess comes up and says, “Oh, I see you are sitting with Marshal So-And-So,” and I say, “Why yes, I am.” And then she says, “Well, his daughter should be here soon. She’s on her way to the Caribbean.” “How about that,” […]