Nov 01

Nicest thing I ever did

One day I was walking down the hall at work and a woman I knew from another department was walking down the hall the other way toward the public hallway that crossed the entire hospital. Just as I was about to enter my department, I turned and saw, a two-foot long piece of toilet paper hanging from the waistband of her skirt. Just hanging down, perfectly straight.

Normally in these situations I freeze and stupidly watch the oncoming train wreck in in slow motion, but this time I sprung into action.

“Britney–you have something on the back of your skirt!”

Needless to say Britney was quite happy to have only been seen by one person in a security-locked hallway instead of THE ENTIRE HOSPITAL.

But, it’s not like we became fast friends after that or anything. In fact later she would become one of Those Users who make it onto The List.

Nonetheless, I’m still glad to have saved someone from a fate that pretty much ensures you have to quit your job, change your name, go off-grid, and move to Malawi.

Oct 29

Overheard: 40 yr old woman

“The dryer smelled like cat pee. Inside the dryer.”

Oct 26

Crazaeh

In the 1987 Starship song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” whenever Grace Slick sings the line, “Let ’em say we’re crazy,” she actually sounds kind of crazy. Listen for yourself:

crazay.mp3

‘LET ‘EM SAY WE’RE CRAZAEH!”

Oct 23

Ineffective ads

I saw this ad on a programming website. I’m not sure why they thought that having a bored, sickly, stick woman would want to make me buy a sweater, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Your heroin boat, obviously.

Oct 23

Overheard: 50 yr old man

“You were apple-and-oranging me!”

Sep 29

Overheard: some dude

“Mayo is a poor life choice, man.”

Sep 26

This was on the desk of a user I was assisting

img_5390

Sep 23

What kind of printer do you have?

HP? Brother? Konica-Minolta?

Whatever it is, it’s not as cool as:

img_5486

Sep 20

Mango mouth

We went on a missions trip to the Philippines this summer. It was incredibly hot, the people were very nice, and the food was great. We had mangos with nearly every meal, and they were amazing. Big yellow mangos with rich golden flesh.

But while we were there, Allison and I developed some pretty harsh chapped lips. Mine were certainly uncomfortable–she developed tiny blisters around her mouth. I thought we had gotten too much sun, or maybe a reaction against the local water or something. Everyone else on the trip was fine.

Anyhoo, a couple of weeks after we got back to the states, I found those same mangos at the Walmart in Warrensburg, so I snatched them up. A few days later, my lips were chapped again. And so were Allison’s. Later in the week I was wracking my brain to see why we were the only ones. For some reason I decided to Google ‘mango chapped lips.’

It turns out they are related–mangos are in the same family as poison ivy, and for individuals who are sensitive, it can cause a reaction, which they refer to as ‘mango mouth.’ And we had both eaten mangos the same day.

If you want to see some pix, just Google ‘mango mouth.’ Enjoy!

Sep 17

Quotable: WireCutter

“The true price of something is to be considered by dividing its cost over the hours you’ll use it.”

seen at WireCutter