Nov 21

Mammonpalooza

This word was apparently coined by doubled-letter fan Russell Moore. There’s not a lot of context, but it’s one of those words whose meaning is pretty apparent.

Named from the Aramaic word for ‘riches,’ I would sum it up as ‘a celebration of how much can acquired around the date traditionally set aside for the commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ.’

Nov 20

One More Ride: Chapter 2: Two Tragedies

Chapter One

Norville just stood there in the kitchen, angry. Angry at Fred for his alcoholism, for his philandery, for his temper, for his stupid remarks. But mostly angry at himself. Why had he let stupid Fred stupid get to him? Stupid.

Then he remembered the anniversary. He sat down in his chair to finish his coffee and drown his misery. He could feel one of his glooms coming on. They usually started with something small—burnt toast or a dinged door—then magnified into an uncontrollable black that would take hours or days to shake. They used to be a lot harder to manage. Now he just tried to ride them out and avoid making any major decisions that he would regret while ‘on the gloom.’

He sat drinking his coffee, then the rest of the pot. After he finished the pot he still needed more Dunks, but he had used the rest for their dinner. He picked up Fred’s mug wondering how cold it was. Very.

Nevermind. I’ll just go to bed, he thought. I’ll just go get my phone just in case anyone needs me and then get in bed. Where’s my phone? In the car. Of course. It might as well be on The Titanic. The car is all the way out in the freakin’ garage. He started to just shuffle his way up the stairs to his bedroom. Fine. Whatever. I’ll get the phone. Stupid conscience.

He walked onto the cold concrete of the garage floor and around to the driver’s side. Why had he left the garage door up? He couldn’t remember doing it, though he did do it sometimes. But usually there was some purpose—changing the oil, sweeping the garage out, getting out the gardening tools. But today? The attempt to remember was making his head hurt. He produced his keys and unlocked the car. The door clicker had given out three years ago but he still hadn’t gotten it fixed.

Norville reached his lanky arm in to retrieve the phone. His fingers touched it just enough to knock it loose from the cup holder and it slid under the seat. I should have gone to bed, he thought. Stupid phone.

He climbed into the car, put his key in the ignition and started the car. Why did I do that, he thought. Force of habit I guess. He reached down below the seat to retrieve the phone and as he did so he saw the package on the dash. He closed his eyes, the tightness drained from his shoulders. The anniversary. That’s why he had left the garage door open. He was already in the car. No point going back to bed now.

He checked the phone for messages then put it back in its cup holder, buckled his seat belt, locked the door, pulled out of the garage, and hit the remote garage door closer. Do I have everything, he asked himself. Wallet, phone, keys, package. That seemed like everything, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he was missing something as he pulled down the driveway.

Probably just the gloom. Stupid gloom.

And that’s how Norville Rogers left home in late October without a jacket.

Chapter 3

Nov 16

Dairy Queen, Windsor, Missouri

Some people put plastic flamingos on their front lawns. In Windsor, Missouri, this person put a tiny Dairy Queen on his. I’m not knocking it; we would have gone except we were still full of amazing campfire-cooked bacon, eggs, and sausage.

Nov 10

Review: China Dragon

While on vacation we tried out a Chinese restaurant my brother recommended, China Dragon in Concordia, Missouri. It’s a little place on the main drag—restaurant only, no buffet.

The Food
The food was very good, and the portions are large. I don’t know about you, but I’m picky about my favorite dish, pork lo-mein. Some places have those thin, round, ramen-style noodles, and other places have those nasty, wide, flat noodles. This place has neither–they have what they call ‘soft noodles’ which are very nice (aren’t all noodles soft once you cook them?). Anyway, they are round and fat, like Americans. The General Tso’s chicken was very good–lots of chicken, not a lot of coating (there are some restaurants that have lots of coating and not a lot of chicken). The crab rangoon is literally packed as full as it can be, the egg rolls are great, and the egg drop soup is wonderful. I just really can’t say enough good things about China Dragon’s food. In my opinion the lo-mein could be greasier, but that’s a personal preference*.

The Service
The entire restaurant is served by the owner / waitress, Tina (her husband is the cook). Tina is friendly, bubbly, and just so darn nice she makes it very difficult not to eat there every night.

The Prices
It’s pretty inexpensive to eat there, and we have always had food to bring home.

Conclusion
Just go, man. Don’t believe me? Try these other reviews; my favorite is the one that says ‘GET OFF THE INTERSTATE NOW.’ Tell Tina her brother and sister from Higginsville sent ya.

[mappress mapid=”2″]

* I have a wonderful memory of leaving an entertainment venue late at night one November long ago and then eating leftover greasy lo-mein sans utensils. Mmmmm.

 

Nov 09

Mmmm….smells

A while back the family and I were on our way back from Sunday lunch, taking the long way back, and talking about our favorite smells. It wasn’t as boring or short a conversation that you are probably thinking. Some of the mutual faves: pipe tobacco, rain, old books, decaying leaves, freshly tilled earth, clean line-dried laundry, and coffee. It was a mixed bag on whether we actually enjoyed the smells, or enjoyed the memories that the smells triggered.

I think I was the only one who enjoys the aroma of diesel exhaust. Every time I get a whiff of it, I’m a kid riding the tractor with my Dad cutting hay.

One smell that didn’t come up in conversation was another of my favorites—the smell of the Folgers coffee plant in downtown Kansas City. Denotatively, I love the aroma, though I think it smells like waffles. Connotatively, it reminds me of riding with Dad in downtown KC late at night after one of his union meetings (bleh).

Still, every time the wind is right I think of Dad and want a big plate of waffles and a cup of coffee.

Nov 08

Dan Visits the Social Security Office

We need to get Social Security cards for our daughters.

I dropped by the SS office in Independence yesterday afternoon. I didn’t know what time they closed, I just assumed it would be similar to other government offices. Turns out the office hours were 9-3:30.

So I had to leave work mid-day to get there today. I passed through the foyer and was greeted by a guard and a No Weapons sign.

“Do you have any weapons?”

“Nope.”

“Any blades at all?”

So I had to take my utility knife back out to the car, during which time five more people got in line in front of me. I guess they could have put the No Weapons Including Tools That Aren’t Really Weapons sign on the outside of the building, but maybe weapons are allowed in the foyer, and not the office.

I mean, really, did they think I would hijack the office and fly it into another office? Secondly, if utility knives are so deadly, why don’t they issue them to cops? The guard didn’t have one—he had a freakin’ gun.

On the wall in the lobby was a corkboard with two items posted side by side:
1. PHOTOGRAPHY PROHIBITED
2. U.S. GOVERNMENT-WARNING-THIS FACILITY/AREA SUBJECT TO VIDEO SURVEILLANCE.

So lemme get his straight—I can’t have weapons here, but you have weapons here. I can’t take pictures here, but you take video. As The Tick would say, “Spelling ‘America’ with a ‘k’ are we?”

Tell me again why these guys should be in charge of health care?

Nov 07

Quotable: 35 yr old male

“If it was good for ya, they’d put it in vitamins.”

–my boss, on the topic of the alleged benefits of marijuana.

Nov 06

kummerspeck

My daughter found this word and sent it to me. It’s a German word “kummerspeck” that means “excess weight gained by emotional over-eating” and translates literally as “grief bacon.”

Nov 02

Quotable: George Washington

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence; true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
—Letter to Bushrod Washington (15 January 1783).

Nov 01

Quotable: Adam Clarke

“Rash judgments are doubly pernicious; they hurt those who form them, and those of whom they are formed.”