I learned a new euphemism the other night when I was holding my friends’ six month old baby boy. I haven’t held one for years, but I still kind of remember how. Anyway, I was holding him so he was reclining. His four year old sister came over to have a look, I guess to make sure […]
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Tag: stories
I walked outside. It was September, cool, and overcast. Suddenly, the sun jumped out from its cloudy cover. I squinted against the sudden brightness. “Ow!” said a small child, experiencing the same thing. “What?” asked his mother. “That burns my eyes!” he replied. Never had I wanted so much to blurt out: “The goggles! They […]
“I snuck a beer.” The guy who told me this looked to be about 6 years old. He didn’t say it like he was bragging. “Are you supposed to be drinking beer?” I asked him. “No,” he said. “I poured it out. I thought my mom was going to smell my breath.”
A friend of mine from our Baptist church and I recently took at trip and we stayed the night at the house of a Baptist couple. By ‘night’ I mean ‘four hours.’ Anyway, we got up the next morning anxious to get back on the road. Our hostess was insistent on fixing us something for […]
As long as I could remember my Dad always drove American cars, so it was a great surprise when my uncle mentioned that my Dad and his twin brother had once owned a Volkswagen Beetle–for a short time. “They were coming around a long curve on our gravel road. Our neighbor and his wife were […]
My Dad told us he once worked at a potato chip plant. My brothers and I were fascinated at the prospect of working at such a magical place. “Did they let you eat any of the chips?” we asked. “They let us eat all we wanted,” he replied. We were completely in awe. “They knew that […]
I love my children very much but I love them even more when they unintentionally make me laugh. I had just returned home from picking my oldest up from pre-school. The whole way home she had been intently looking at herself in the side mirror. “Honey what are you doing.” “Mom my teacher told me […]
‘Pettin’ the zebra’ is a metaphor for being stuffed and mounted, and, more specifically, dead; it was coined by my brothers. They were discussing how unwise it would be to ever attempt to burglarize the house of one of our relatives (the relative in question is a hunter and a taxidermist). While he has a […]
If you read my previous post about Whiskey in the Jar, I told you that story so I can tell you this story. Several years ago at a party we were playing Encore, a game where, when given a word or a topic, you have to sing seven consecutive words of a song on that word […]
My dad, Lonnie, had a lot of skills: auto mechanic, aircraft mechanic, small aircraft pilot, welder, torchcutter, and storyteller. You can see how most of those overlap quite a bit. So it was a great surprise when he told me he had taken typing when he was in high school. It came out like this: […]