Category: humor

Is ‘skanks’ a bad word?

There are some questions that you are prepared for when you walk into a room. Furthermore, there are especially some questions you aren’t prepared for when you walk into a room at church. The asker  of the aformentioned question was a boy about eight years old who was cleaning up the room with a couple …

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Jesse James and Caves

Missouri is known as the Cave State; we have over 6,000 caves. Besides caves, Missouri also has the most famous outlaw of the Old West: Jesse James. On the surface, it doesn’t seem like those two facts have anything to do with one another. However, every cave you visit in Missouri has a sign stating …

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Overheard: sizes

Woman: “We have medium, and there are large behind you. What size do you need?” Rotund Guy: “Texas!”

2010 Hummer H4

“It addresses a real need.” So says David Puncil, head of GM’s flagging Hummer line of sport utility vehicles. “Our customers have given us a lot of feedback, and we’ve listened,” he says. “Over and over again our customers told us they want an oversized mammoth of a vehicle that takes up a lot of …

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Overheard: bugs

“They put everything under the microscope. They’re like, ‘If it’s a bug, kill it and put it under the microscope.’”

You killed a man?

A few Christmases ago my daughter received a toy airplane. It was a styrofoam model, designed for flight. Inexplicably, the company had packaged it in one of those irritating hard blister packs. It was no surprise then, when the plane got broken during the process of extricating it from the package.  “I’d like to kill …

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Overheard: hair

“I don’t know. You lose the hair on your head, and you get it in other spots you don’t want it.”

Traditional Irish Blessing

“May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

Traditional Irish Curse

“May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can’t find you with a telescope.”

Counterfeit chickens

Having grown up watching Looney Tunes my whole life, there are just some gags that I just take for granted. For example, animals can disguise themselves as chickens simply by putting a red rubber glove on their heads. I had forgotten this, and had even forgotten there being a time when the difference between a …

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