“It addresses a real need.”
So says David Puncil, head of GM’s flagging Hummer line of sport utility vehicles.
“Our customers have given us a lot of feedback, and we’ve listened,” he says.
“Over and over again our customers told us they want an oversized mammoth of a vehicle that takes up a lot of room, looks pretentious, and increases our dependence on foreign oil. Somehow, the H3 just isn’t cutting it.”
“Sure it wastes a lot of fuel when I’m driving,” wrote one customer, “But what about when I’m not driving?”
Puncil has the answer: the 2010 Hummer H4, which includes a specially designed, computer controlled, chrome spigot from the fuel tank that actually leaks gasoline directly onto the ground; an innovative feature for the already $70,000 SUV.
“Now our customers can squander as much fuel as they want–just one other way they can say ‘Hey, look at me, I am obviously wealthy and feel the need to show it by wasteful consumption!'”
Of course, the H4 will continue to sport the trademark steel rings on the bumper.
When asked, Puncil admitted that the research for the H4’s new technologies was expensive.
“I just want to thank the American taxpayer. Without you, none of this would have been possible.”
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