Dan Poynter

Author's posts

Pineapple

When I was 14 my dad came home with a fresh pineapple (or as fresh as you can get in Missouri). It was the first time I ever had fresh pineapple, and it was amazing. Between me, Dad, and my three brothers, it was too-soon devoured. But there was still plenty of pineapple core left, …

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“I hope you have a horrible vacation.”

That was the last thing I heard when I left work last Wednesday. I take my vacation in late October every year so I can enjoy Missouri’s beautiful autumns. Or at least, with the intent to do so. So far every year I planned to go hiking, floating, or caving. So far every year I …

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Update

I’m in the hospital, and have been for the last two days. I hope to get out today. I will update more when I can say something funny without being acrimonious.

Perfection

I recently worked on a computer for someone. While I was there, the guy was at another desk eating his lunch. It sounded like this: munch munch Munch Munch MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH with his mouth open smick smack smick smack munch munch MUNCH MUNCH While I continued to type away clickity typity clickity typity …

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Overheard: 30 year old female

“Why come my mines ain’t ringin’?”

Tales from Hop-Hop Land: Chapter 1

One of my children used to have an imaginary friend, a rabbit named Hop-Hop Bunny, who had a brother named Hop-Hop. They were from Hop-Hop Land (I know you didn’t see that coming). We heard several Hop-Hop Bunny stories from the time our daughter was in preschool through first grade. One day we were working …

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Overheard: 60 year old male

“I ran into a girl online that I hadn’t seen since gradeschool. She asked me how I was doing. How do you sum up 50 years of your life in one sentence?” (pauses) “It sucks!”

Survey results: super power

A couple weeks ago I posted a survey asking readers what they thought my super power was; here are the results: reading minds human lie detector Encyclopedia Man – able to recall facts on anything whether relevant or not. super creativity The third one seems most  accurate to me, plus the submitter helpfully included a …

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Book question

[SURVEYS 4]

Alms for the poor

Back in the 60s my grampa, my dad, and my uncle used to drive to Kansas City to stay in an apartment and work all week, then drive back home to southern Missouri on the weekends. Dad said when they got back to the apartment, my uncle would get out an old can and say, …

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