“The human figure is coming back into fashion in painting, and what are all those poor [expletives deleted] going to do now? They never learned how to draw.” –Thomas Hart Benton, referring to painters from the Abstract Expressionist movement, via Robert Wernick
Tag: humor
Sep 18
Crime and Punishment
I just finished programming a robot that evaluates life forms and if determined to be human, follows a pretty straightforward If/Then sequence: IF [CHEWING_GUM_WITH_MOUTH_OPEN=TRUE] THEN [PUNCH_IN_THROAT] If you happen to receive a punch in the throat due to said activity, I’m sorry. But you had it coming.
May 17
Overheard: 32 yr old male
“I can’t speak for the entire country, but here at [employer name] we are on Internet Explorer 7.”
Apr 25
Overheard: 50 yr old male
Guy: “What’s that cops show where they’re always busting people?” Everyone else in room: “COPS?”
Mar 09
Yiddish curse
“May you inherit a hotel of a hundred rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them.”
Jul 13
Cousaunts & Cousuncles
k’ZANT, k’ZUNKLE, n. member of a family who was one’s cousin, but through intra-family adulterous relationships, have now also become one’s aunt or uncle. I heard these words from some friends of mine who are a married couple, and who had these unique relatives on both his and her side of their family.
