“The human figure is coming back into fashion in painting, and what are all those poor [expletives deleted] going to do now? They never learned how to draw.” –Thomas Hart Benton, referring to painters from the Abstract Expressionist movement, via Robert Wernick
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Tag: humor
My dyslexic friend got kicked out of church for singing ‘Our Dog is an Awesome Dog.’
I just finished programming a robot that evaluates life forms and if determined to be human, follows a pretty straightforward If/Then sequence: IF [CHEWING_GUM_WITH_MOUTH_OPEN=TRUE] THEN [PUNCH_IN_THROAT] If you happen to receive a punch in the throat due to said activity, I’m sorry. But you had it coming.
I used to work for the late Tom Runge of Ace R/C. Since Ace was a small company, you often got pulled off of your regular job to help do any number of things like driving people to the airport or unloading heavy boxes of catalogs. One day I was helping Tom and several older […]
“I can’t speak for the entire country, but here at [employer name] we are on Internet Explorer 7.”
Guy: “What’s that cops show where they’re always busting people?” Everyone else in room: “COPS?”
“May you inherit a hotel of a hundred rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them.”
k’ZANT, k’ZUNKLE, n. member of a family who was one’s cousin, but through intra-family adulterous relationships, have now also become one’s aunt or uncle. I heard these words from some friends of mine who are a married couple, and who had these unique relatives on both his and her side of their family.
“Well, my grandma was evil.”