Warning: this story is not for the squeamish. My friend Timmy was driving down the road. He was also just getting over a cold, and he had to cough. When he coughed, he coughed up some phlegm. While he would have normally just spat it out the window, he hesitated, as he had just washed his […]
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Tag: stories
Several years ago Jimmy, Timmy, and I were discussing profanity. Jimmy, who almost never uses profanity, mentioned this: “I don’t like to swear; however, I really like the word ‘#$@*!‘ It just sounds cool.” Later in the day while we were getting ready to leave for lunch, Jimmy was taking a long time and we […]
The McDonald’s I get my coffee at frequently gives me a discounted senior coffee. I figured it was because they liked me, or they just like rewarding their frequent fliers, not because of all the gray in my beard. But some time ago I was at a McDonald’s in downtown Kansas City and they gave […]
Several years ago a friend of mine was eating some chips. His five year old son (who was supposed to be getting in bed), came up behind him. “Can I have some of your chips?” “No.” His son paused for a few seconds and then said: “The Bible says you have to share everything.” My […]
My friend Bruce used to teach the Primary class at church. One muggy July evening he had taken his class outside, and they were walking around the church. About half way around, one of the boys had grown tired of the heat and offered this: “The Bible says, ‘If a man sweats, let him go […]
When my friend’s son was about three I was teasing him. “Why is your nose so flat?” I asked. “It’s got boogers in it!” he replied.
It’s not as nefarious as it sounds. It was the middle of the depression and my grandpa Roy had a small farm. In the middle of the night he heard some racket, and saw someone riding off on a horse. The stranger had one of my grandpa’s pigs under his arm. So grandpa grabbed his […]
My friend Kaleb notices everything. EVERYTHING. I found this out a few years ago when I started my job. I got up as usual one morning, got dressed, got in my car and went to work. When I stepped out of my car, I looked down and noticed that I had put on two different […]
A few Christmases ago my daughter received a toy airplane. It was a styrofoam model, designed for flight. Inexplicably, the company had packaged it in one of those irritating hard blister packs. It was no surprise then, when the plane got broken during the process of extricating it from the package. “I’d like to kill […]
Having grown up watching Looney Tunes my whole life, there are just some gags that I just take for granted. For example, animals can disguise themselves as chickens simply by putting a red rubber glove on their heads. I had forgotten this, and had even forgotten there being a time when the difference between a […]