“I’ve been banned from yoga, so my whole bottom half is bigger.”
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: humor
In An Innocent in Scotland, the author describes the scene from one of the bed and breakfasts he lodges at: ‘On a lamp table in the dining room there’s a little stuffed [taxidermied] animal, some kind of weasel sitting there with a little bushy tail and the sweetest look on its face. “Who shot that little […]
I swear, you write one blog post about accidentally giving a prostitute a lift and next thing you know you have this in your search stats:
“Ma, I’m home!” “I’m in the kitchen, Krampus! Come give your mom a hug.” “Maaaaa!” “You know the rules, Krampus–no hugs, no dinner.” Krampus lumbered into the kitchen, dumped his bags on the floor, and limply hugged his mother. “Hey, ma, I brought a friend home from college. This is Nick. Nick, this is my ma, […]
Recently I was checking my blog stats and saw some of the search terms that drove people to my site. I thought this search term was rather curious: At first I assumed that they had misheard the name of Billy Joel’s Shameless, which Garth Brooks covered on his album Ropin’ the Wind. But maybe they meant […]
A few years ago while I was mourning over a recent death I went out to see my friend and mentor, The Bob. As we kicked around the farm doing random chores we took cover from the frigid January rain inside one of his many out-buildings. Very seriously he said, “I wish I could hurt […]
There is only one G.I. Joe figure from the classic 1980’s toy line whose underwear preference is listed on the toy packaging: Snake Eyes. I don’t know why they did that–probably because as a wolf-owning ninja Snake Eyes is so awesome that they had to have something (apart from his inability to speak) to bring […]
When I was laid off in the last recession I would pick up my daughter and my friend’s son from preschool. My friend isn’t know for his mechanical expertise–he’s an amazing musician, but you do not want him working on your car. Or water heater. Or, well, anything that requires tools, which was good as […]