“I’ve been banned from yoga, so my whole bottom half is bigger.”
Category: humor
Feb 18
Pine Martens
In An Innocent in Scotland, the author describes the scene from one of the bed and breakfasts he lodges at: ‘On a lamp table in the dining room there’s a little stuffed [taxidermied] animal, some kind of weasel sitting there with a little bushy tail and the sweetest look on its face. “Who shot that little …
Feb 13
Typecast
I swear, you write one blog post about accidentally giving a prostitute a lift and next thing you know you have this in your search stats:
Feb 08
Krampus comes back from college for Christmas
“Ma, I’m home!” “I’m in the kitchen, Krampus! Come give your mom a hug.” “Maaaaa!” “You know the rules, Krampus–no hugs, no dinner.” Krampus lumbered into the kitchen, dumped his bags on the floor, and limply hugged his mother. “Hey, ma, I brought a friend home from college. This is Nick. Nick, this is my ma, …
Feb 04
Seamus
Recently I was checking my blog stats and saw some of the search terms that drove people to my site. I thought this search term was rather curious: At first I assumed that they had misheard the name of Billy Joel’s Shameless, which Garth Brooks covered on his album Ropin’ the Wind. But maybe they meant …
Jan 21
A happy kind of pain
A few years ago while I was mourning over a recent death I went out to see my friend and mentor, The Bob. As we kicked around the farm doing random chores we took cover from the frigid January rain inside one of his many out-buildings. Very seriously he said, “I wish I could hurt …
Jan 20
Knowing is half the battle
There is only one G.I. Joe figure from the classic 1980’s toy line whose underwear preference is listed on the toy packaging: Snake Eyes. I don’t know why they did that–probably because as a wolf-owning ninja Snake Eyes is so awesome that they had to have something (apart from his inability to speak) to bring …
Jan 02
Hardware Store
When I was laid off in the last recession I would pick up my daughter and my friend’s son from preschool. My friend isn’t know for his mechanical expertise–he’s an amazing musician, but you do not want him working on your car. Or water heater. Or, well, anything that requires tools, which was good as …
