“You should see the cheese on my face right now!”
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: humor
“I told my mom that I wanted to learn kite-fighting, but she was in the shower, and through the door she thought I said cockfighting, and she said, ‘Cockfighting is illegal in Missouri!’”
A few years ago I’m sitting in my office on a July Monday morning catching up on email. Behind me I hear someone enter the stockroom and stop. “Dude.” It was Kaleb. I turned around, and Kaleb showed me how his weekend was, out on the Smithville Lake in an aluminum boat.
Working in I.T., I hear a lot of figurative terms for USB flash memory drives: thumb drive, jump drive, zip drive*, flash stick, and memory stick**. My favorite term that I have heard, though, is ‘nerd stick.’ As I have mentioned before, my favorite nerd stick is the Victorinox USB Swiss Army Knife. Both asterisked terms […]
I tried to give B some space to finish posting what happened the rest of his trip, but I guess he didn’t feel like it. He made it back to work OK, but he didn’t wanna talk about it. He looks like he’s aged 10 years. On the flip side, he should be able to […]
They stopped near a little island somewhere in the Caribbean so we could go ashore and wander around (I guess they had already scoped the island to make sure there weren’t any cannibals or something). Me and the guys are just kind of hanging out there in the shallows taking in the scenery when I […]
I swear, this better be the last thing that goes on this cruise or I’m gonna do something felonious. First, a story: one time when I was three I got separated from my mom in the store. I was cool, so I just walked up to the chick in the toy section and started talking […]
This ship is great. If you’ve never been on a cruise ship, lemme ‘splain: It’s big, man. I mean, it’s huuuuuuuge. Let’s just say its….must…resist…yo…mama…joke. Anyway, it’s rather large. Everything is super clean, the fresh salt air is amazing, and it rides so smooth you pretty much can’t possibly get seasick. The weather is pretty […]
The rest of the flight (after the initial weirdness) was uneventful. I got moved back to coach with my buddies and proceeded to overindulge in a little refreshment (can I say that on here, Mr. Poynter?). Anyway, by the time the plane hit the ground I had to be carried so I didn’t hit the […]
So I had been reading Harry Potter to the Air Marshall’s daughter for over an hour (30 minutes on the tarmac, 3o minutes in the air) and man, my throat was dry. What do we have to drink? Milk, water, and Diet Sprite (Princess Butterface is underage, and as her “companion” I too am forbidden […]