“You should see the cheese on my face right now!”
Category: humor
Apr 15
Overheard: 8 yr old male
“I told my mom that I wanted to learn kite-fighting, but she was in the shower, and through the door she thought I said cockfighting, and she said, ‘Cockfighting is illegal in Missouri!’”
Mar 30
Drive on
Working in I.T., I hear a lot of figurative terms for USB flash memory drives: thumb drive, jump drive, zip drive*, flash stick, and memory stick**. My favorite term that I have heard, though, is ‘nerd stick.’ As I have mentioned before, my favorite nerd stick is the Victorinox USB Swiss Army Knife. Both asterisked terms …
Feb 22
I’m back
I tried to give B some space to finish posting what happened the rest of his trip, but I guess he didn’t feel like it. He made it back to work OK, but he didn’t wanna talk about it. He looks like he’s aged 10 years. On the flip side, he should be able to …
Feb 15
I survived a shark attack
They stopped near a little island somewhere in the Caribbean so we could go ashore and wander around (I guess they had already scoped the island to make sure there weren’t any cannibals or something). Me and the guys are just kind of hanging out there in the shallows taking in the scenery when I …
Feb 14
Paging B’s mom
I swear, this better be the last thing that goes on this cruise or I’m gonna do something felonious. First, a story: one time when I was three I got separated from my mom in the store. I was cool, so I just walked up to the chick in the toy section and started talking …
Feb 12
I’m on a boat
This ship is great. If you’ve never been on a cruise ship, lemme ‘splain: It’s big, man. I mean, it’s huuuuuuuge. Let’s just say its….must…resist…yo…mama…joke. Anyway, it’s rather large. Everything is super clean, the fresh salt air is amazing, and it rides so smooth you pretty much can’t possibly get seasick. The weather is pretty …
Feb 12
So glad to see a cab
The rest of the flight (after the initial weirdness) was uneventful. I got moved back to coach with my buddies and proceeded to overindulge in a little refreshment (can I say that on here, Mr. Poynter?). Anyway, by the time the plane hit the ground I had to be carried so I didn’t hit the …
Feb 11
I am not a chubby chaser
So I had been reading Harry Potter to the Air Marshall’s daughter for over an hour (30 minutes on the tarmac, 3o minutes in the air) and man, my throat was dry. What do we have to drink? Milk, water, and Diet Sprite (Princess Butterface is underage, and as her “companion” I too am forbidden …
