Category: humor

‘the Marital We’

My friend Kaleb, another logophile, coined this phrase. It describes the phenomena when a wife addresses her husband with a sentence beginning with, “We need to…,” and by this statement what she means is, “You need to….”

Victory

A couple of months ago at work one of the secretaries brought a Chinese user down for some assistance with her laptop on the wifi network. The laptop had an English keyboard, but the OS was entirely Chinese. “Ni hao,” I said, almost entirely exhausting the Chinese I learned at my old job. “Oh, you …

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Overheard: 30 yr old woman

“So everyone smells like a baby’s butt!”

Overheard: 28 yr old women

Chick #1: do you say the word ‘hiccup’ when you hiccup? Chick #2: yes.

Quotable: G. K. Chesterton

“Oscar Wilde said that sunsets were not valued because we could not pay for sunsets. But Oscar Wilde was wrong; we can pay for sunsets. We can pay for them by not being Oscar Wilde.”

Occupational hazard

Lookin’ for Chinese in the all the wrong places

A couple Fridays ago at work we ordered Chinese from China Dragon; it had been a long week and we had taken a real beating and we deserved some takeout. Rob called to order our food at 11 a.m., and we waited. And waited. By noon they still hadn’t arrived. I was starved, but I …

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Overheard: teenage girl and guy

Girl: Tweetie Bird is a boy Guy: What? My life is a lie!

Overheard: 35 yr old woman

“She did a summer at Oxford. In England!”

Overheard: 30 yr old women

WOMAN1: Why don’t you use mascara? WOMAN2: Because I poke myself in the eye.