“The devil’s instruments must share in the devil’s punishments.”
“I’m not an emotional person; I’m a Minnesotan.”
(out of context quote from a sermon illustration)
When I was growing up I remember hearing the term ‘grease zert,’ and I just assumed it was a made-up word. While my dad was skilled at a lot of things (drawing, aviation, mechanics,welding), he was not always known to handle the English language in a manner consistent with the generally agreed upon principles of usage (he once wrote the word ‘paided’ as a past tense for ‘pay’).
But it turns out that in this case he was pretty darn close:
See more of the etymology here at Merriam-Webster.
Pic borrowed from Currie Enterprises.
One day I was walking down the hall at work and a woman I knew from another department was walking down the hall the other way toward the public hallway that crossed the entire hospital. Just as I was about to enter my department, I turned and saw, a two-foot long piece of toilet paper hanging from the waistband of her skirt. Just hanging down, perfectly straight.
Normally in these situations I freeze and stupidly watch the oncoming train wreck in in slow motion, but this time I sprung into action.
“Britney–you have something on the back of your skirt!”
Needless to say Britney was quite happy to have only been seen by one person in a security-locked hallway instead of THE ENTIRE HOSPITAL.
But, it’s not like we became fast friends after that or anything. In fact later she would become one of Those Users who make it onto The List.
Nonetheless, I’m still glad to have saved someone from a fate that pretty much ensures you have to quit your job, change your name, go off-grid, and move to Malawi.
“The dryer smelled like cat pee. Inside the dryer.”
In the 1987 Starship song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” whenever Grace Slick sings the line, “Let ’em say we’re crazy,” she actually sounds kind of crazy. Listen for yourself:
‘LET ‘EM SAY WE’RE CRAZAEH!”
“You were apple-and-oranging me!”
“Mayo is a poor life choice, man.”