Oct 23 2016

Ineffective ads

I saw this ad on a programming website. I’m not sure why they thought that having a bored, sickly, stick woman would want to make me buy a sweater, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Your heroin boat, obviously.

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Oct 23 2016

Overheard: 50 yr old man

“You were apple-and-oranging me!”

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Sep 29 2016

Overheard: some dude

“Mayo is a poor life choice, man.”

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Sep 26 2016

This was on the desk of a user I was assisting


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Sep 23 2016

What kind of printer do you have?

HP? Brother? Konica-Minolta?

Whatever it is, it’s not as cool as:


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Sep 20 2016

Mango mouth

We went on a missions trip to the Philippines this summer. It was incredibly hot, the people were very nice, and the food was great. We had mangos with nearly every meal, and they were amazing. Big yellow mangos with rich golden flesh.

But while we were there, Allison and I developed some pretty harsh chapped lips. Mine were certainly uncomfortable–she developed tiny blisters around her mouth. I thought we had gotten too much sun, or maybe a reaction against the local water or something. Everyone else on the trip was fine.

Anyhoo, a couple of weeks after we got back to the states, I found those same mangos at the Walmart in Warrensburg, so I snatched them up. A few days later, my lips were chapped again. And so were Allison’s. Later in the week I was wracking my brain to see why we were the only ones. For some reason I decided to Google ‘mango chapped lips.’

It turns out they are related–mangos are in the same family as poison ivy, and for individuals who are sensitive, it can cause a reaction, which they refer to as ‘mango mouth.’ And we had both eaten mangos the same day.

If you want to see some pix, just Google¬†‘mango mouth.’ Enjoy!

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Sep 17 2016

Quotable: WireCutter

“The true price of something is to be considered by dividing its cost over the hours you’ll use it.”

seen at WireCutter

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Sep 14 2016

No thanks. I’ll just poop my pants.


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Sep 11 2016

The Worm from Labyrinth: Step by Step

In April I made a cake topper for my brother-in-law’s birthday party while my wife made the cake. Here is the step by step on how I did it:


It starts with making a wire armature; I made this one out of a clothes hanger. Luckily this is all the armature that the worm required; making armatures for human figures is much more complex.


Then you cover it with aluminum foil until it is about 80% of the bulk you need it to be.


I’m sculpting the worm with a polymer clay called Sculpey, which runs about $10/lb. You layer it over your wire and foil armature no thicker than 1/4 inch and then bake it in the oven at something like 275 degrees for 20 minutes. I learned about this from my friend Dave 20 years ago. After you bake it, then you can cut, grind, sand, ¬†score, and even layer on more Sculpey and bake it again.


Here is a closeup of the freshly sculpted and unbaked Sculpey.


Here I have globbed on the initial blobs that will make up the worm’s face.


And here are all of the blobs smooshed into a rough face. Note the score marks on the eyes so that I can smooth on more Sculpey for the eyes once it has been baked the first time.


The worm was baked, then eyes and eyelids sculpted on.


img_5667Here I have smoothed down the rough edges of the grooves in the worm’s body with a tiny file, and cut in more smaller grooves with a dental tool.


Now I have added all of the fat rolls on the worm’s neck. This was a little difficult, making layer after layer one at a time and not smooshing the underlying layers.


After the last bake it was time to paint. I thinned down some gray acrylic and brushed/dribbled it into all of the little nooks and crannies to make them stand out more.

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I painted the rest of the worm with acrylic, then superglued some snips of fancy yarn on for his hair.


Finally I finished the pupils with a Sharpie marker, then sprayed the entire thing with clear acrylic sealer, and cut a strip of felt off for the scarf.


Here is the final on top of the awesome cake that Heather made. In total it took me probably about 8-12 hours.

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Sep 8 2016

No, Acorns, I really don’t


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