I just finished programming a robot that evaluates life forms and if determined to be human, follows a pretty straightforward If/Then sequence: IF [CHEWING_GUM_WITH_MOUTH_OPEN=TRUE] THEN [PUNCH_IN_THROAT] If you happen to receive a punch in the throat due to said activity, I’m sorry. But you had it coming.
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: stuff
I have long despised bananas. Maybe ‘despised’ is too harsh, but I certainly was not fond them. Before July I only ate maybe four bananas a year, just whenever I got a potassium-deficiency-induced craving. Since being diagnosed with diverticulitis, I have changed my diet significantly for the better, and eat 1-2 bananas a day. But […]
And it is nasty.
“I see that you have insanity. How do you like it?”
One day after several years of marriage Heather asked me, “Why do you tie your shoes backwards?” To that point in my life, I hadn’t realized I tied my shoes backwards. I couldn’t tie my shoes until well into my first grade year. I don’t know why, I just had a hard time learning it. […]
So this woman I work with had to get a new vehicle, as she and her husband were driving a truck and were getting killed by the gas prices. So they downsized to a Kia. Her husband went to visit a friend, who suggested they go deer hunting. After objecting that, hey, I would, but […]
On the cargo limitations of the OH58 Kiowa helicopter: “You can’t have a fat pilot and a full tank of gas.”
Guys named Brian are afraid of dyslexic zombies.
While teaching a lesson on the book of Obadiah to my church youth group , I used the following illustration: Similarities between holding a grudge and holding a turd You think it’s valuable, but everyone else sees that it is not. It makes you unpleasant to be around. You can’t get clean as long as you […]
On this day in 1376 (according to the poet Robert Browning) the Pied Piper led all the children from Hamelin never to be seen again.