One day after several years of marriage Heather asked me, “Why do you tie your shoes backwards?” To that point in my life, I hadn’t realized I tied my shoes backwards. I couldn’t tie my shoes until well into my first grade year. I don’t know why, I just had a hard time learning it. […]
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: stories
So this woman I work with had to get a new vehicle, as she and her husband were driving a truck and were getting killed by the gas prices. So they downsized to a Kia. Her husband went to visit a friend, who suggested they go deer hunting. After objecting that, hey, I would, but […]
One night my wife and daughter were helping in the church nursery. Our friend’s three year old son was in there, and he was having some difficulty walking, his hands down the back of his pants. “What are you doing?” my wife asked. “My vroom-vrooms are in my butt!” he replied. For those of you […]
I guess a lot of statements make a lot more sense when heard in context. Our cat, Puck, came to live with us in November of 2009. Heather had fallen in love with him when she took her ugly dog to the vet (the same vet who told Heather her dog was ugly). Puck was entirely […]
A friend of mine runs a library. He had a friend called The General. The two of them are known for making a pyramid out of vodka bottles roughly 8′ x 8′ x 8′. Anyway, one day my friend asked The General to pick him up at work. The General declined, saying, “Where I come […]
A couple of years ago I went on vacation and instead of going floating and camping, I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. While I was in the hospital undergoing treatments you couldn’t use on people in Guantanamo, Heather stayed with me almost the entire time. After I had been there […]
At my last job, one of the secretaries, Elaine, related this story about her husband: “One day he had decided to try to help with the housework. I came home from work and saw that he had made the bed. He did a terrible job and I laughed and laughed.” Then, there was kind of […]
The doorbell was ringing. Again. Norville Rogers walked from his study in the back of the house around the left staircase, across the parquet floor, past the marble Venus to the front door. He stood there a moment as the bell continued ringing. He took a deep breath, blew it out, and finally answered the […]
It was an odd question to be sure, even more so because I am not employed in the arithmetic industry nor am I a math nerd. Also, this was a dream. I remember years ago watching an episode of Batman: The Animated Series. They said that you couldn’t read in your dreams, but I found […]
Last year one of my students graduated from high school. Travis is a very mild mannered guy who always keeps his nose clean, and also a huge Superman fan. He was one of my very first students, and we hang out once in a while. However, the fact is, graduations are always boring. So I […]