“God has a special providence for fools, drunks, and the United States of America.” –Otto von Bismarck
MadMania
Faith, Books, and Stuff
Category: humor
Galatians 2:12, “For before certain men came from James, he [Peter] was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party.” I’d be afraid of anything called a ‘circumcision party’ as well.
“I’m trying to watch a webinar and I don’t know if I have the right whatever thingy.”
Most of us just think these things quietly in our heads, but my former classmate is unfettered by such constraints (her username and ‘sentence enhancers’ pixelated to protect the guilty):
One of several polite terms for a bull (for those who did not want to say ‘bull’ due to its sexual overtones).
The other day I was dictating voice notes on my phone for my Wednesday night lesson at church. At one point what I said was “Three offices in Old Testament were prophet, priest and king.” What Siri translated was, “Three offices in Old Testament were probably pretty stinky.” While technically true, due to the hot […]
“If I had a genie that would be my only wish–a time machine. And maybe money for college.”
“In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we’re doing anonymously.”
The other day I was doing some tech support for some longtime customers, a couple in their mid-80s (he uses a Mac, she uses a PC). While I was there the topic of the next bloodmobile date came up. “They don’t like my blood,” he said. “Why not?” I asked. “I lived in Africa for […]
“I got a lot to do; gotta go home, gotta beat some kids.”