Dear Nichole,
Thank you so much for the large sampling of Flavia coffee packets. I would write you personally and thank you, but I try not to write personal thank you notes to members of the opposite sex that aren’t from me and Heather. I realize that your kindness will go unthanked, but still I must express my gratitude somehow, and hope that what comes around really does go around.
On the day you gave it, I really needed some coffee. I once killed a man because he came between me and my coffee. I don’t mean that figuratively–he was simply between me and my coffee–and just slightly so, at that. At the trial they asked me why I didn’t just ask him to move. Anyway, I payed my debt to society.
All of the coffees you gave me were nasty, and I hated them all. You told me I would, especially after being spoiled by our marvelous Keurig machine for the last two years. Nonetheless, I appreciate you humoring me by letting me try them anyway. While you did say that Flavia coffee was nasty, I think a more accurate description would be urinesque.
Thanks again,
Dan
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