We just got our Christmas card from my friend Kaleb and Mrs. Kaleb. Of course it has a picture of their baby on it. They have the World’s Most Adorable Baby, and they don’t want you to forget it. Every few months they find some occasion to send out a new card:
Our New Baby!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Yom Kippur!
It’s Canada Day!
It wouldn’t be so bad if they wouldn’t rub it in our faces (the cuteness, not the actual baby).
Their baby is so cute even Kaleb’s mom accidentally broke mom-protocol and hinted that Kaleb was not quite as cute when he was a baby.
“She’s so cute! Compared to her Kaleb was as ugly as sin waking up in the morning after a turpentine hangover on Monday!”
It’s not that I mind pictures of cute babies. In fact, I’ve glued all the pictures they have sent over my own children’s faces on all of their pictures, though things do get a little Brazil-esque as the girls get older.
But the real problem is Mrs. MadMan. Nothing fires up the “I Need Another Baby” boiler like seeing Kaleb’s Adorable Baby.
“Awwwww,” she starts. “We need another baby!”
“We have a baby,” I reply, “And she’s 13. It’s too late to have another one.”
This logic does nothing to sway her, so I continue.
“Besides, I know this baby. I’ve seen what she can do. I was there–at Apple Butter Day.”
At the aforementioned Day the little one had released such a poopsplosion that they had to take all of her clothes and put them in a bag and tie that bag to the outside of the car. And then they had to burn the car.
But it’s not like I’m unwilling to compromise. I told Heather we could have a baby if she could convince Mr. & Mrs. K to give her their baby.
Whaddaya say, guys?
Comments are closed.