Feb 10 2010

I’m not doing it

I’m not doing it. I am NOT doing this. They led me to believe that this chick was totally hot, and it is not true. I am not reading Harry Potter to this girl.

So I pushed the button to summon the stewardess and she shows up and I ask her to please ask Air Marshal So-And-So to come here, as I would like to speak to him.

A few minutes later he shows up, all grins.

“What can I do ya for?” he asks.

I’m feeling pretty safe since we’re in the air now.

“Well, Marshall,” I start out politely, “I am not reading this book to your daughter.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Well, before you make yer final decision, I’d like ya to take a look at this.”

And with that statement he drops his newspaper in my lap.

BRITISH AUTHOR DETAINED AT AIRPORT

They detained her?

And then he smiles.

I don’t care. I’m not doing it. I am not reading Harry Potter to this guy’s adult daughter.

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Feb 10 2010

Too good to be true

I promised Mr. Poynter I would keep these posts fairly clean since they’re on his blog, so it’s hard for me to find the words to express my. uncontrollable. rage. at. this. point.

Let’s just say that apparently if you model plus-size swimwear you are still technically considered a swimsuit model.

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Feb 9 2010

Could it get better?

So I’m sitting there in first class enjoying my complimentary beverage and the stewardess comes up and says, “Oh, I see you are sitting with Marshal So-And-So,” and I say, “Why yes, I am.”

And then she says, “Well, his daughter should be here soon. She’s on her way to the Caribbean.”

“How about that,” I say, just being polite. Extra polite–we haven’t left the ground yet, and I don’t want to jinx it.

And then very casually, she adds:

“Yes. She’s a swimsuit model.”

Oh. My.

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