Oct 28 2011

Corn gangsta

n. One who attends a small, rural school in the middle of the Corn Belt, but dresses like he is growing up on the mean streets of Compton.

The girls brought this wonderful term home from high school. As far as I know the usage is entirely localized to our school.

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Jul 19 2009

No, ma’am

My dad, Lonnie,  had a lot of skills: auto mechanic, aircraft mechanic, small aircraft pilot, welder, torchcutter, and storyteller.

You can see how most of those overlap quite a bit. So it was a great surprise when he told me he had taken typing when he was in high school. It came out like this:

“One day I was in typing class and I had done a terrible job that day, and at the end of class our teacher called on us to tell her how many words a minute we had typed.”

“Jim?” she called.

“Forty-five.”

“Margaret?”

“Fifty.”

“Lonnie?”

My dad called out his abysmally low score.

“Ten.”

“Did you say ten?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes!” my dad answered irritably.

 

Remember, this was back when corporal punishment was legal and encouraged.

 

“Do you want me to come back there and slap you?” she asked.

“No, ma’am.”

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