Aug 14 2017

Left Behind: Bikini Bottom

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Sep 3 2009

Chili season has begun

Sunday I made the first batch of chili of autumn. I know it’s not properly autumn yet, but tell that to our pumpkins that have been orange for a month.

If you don’t know me, I like to cook. I specifically like to cook chili. I started making it 11 years ago, and when I started I had no idea what I was doing. I just followed a recipe from my mother-in-law’s cookbook. I made only one substitution: tomato sauce in place of nasty stewed tomatoes, which have the texture of what I imagine a bladder would feel like on your tongue.

Since then my chili has gone through 3 major revisions. It used to be open source, but after I hit 3.0 the code went proprietary. Sunday I made a major breakthrough which launched MadMan Dan’s Amazing Chili to version 4.o. I don’t know if it was a singular component, or a confluence of three, but it came out great.

My chili is spicy, but not ‘look-how-spicy-I-can-make-my-chili spicy.’ You get a good burn on your tongue and back of your throat, and you break out in a healthy sweat.

While the exact formula is a secret (except to Kaleb), my chili contains: hamburger, steak, onion, chili powder, cayenne pepper, beans, tomato sauce, and other wonderful things.

Yes, yes, some of you are going to tell me that real Texas chili doesn’t have beans in it; blah blah blee blah. Well, I don’t make Texas chili.

I’m sorry, but this is the most mature remark I can make on that subject:

dvd“What’s so great about dumb ‘ol Texas?”

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