Oct 5 2009

Feeds

I learned a new euphemism the other night when I was holding my friends’ six month old baby boy. I haven’t held one for years, but I still kind of remember how.

Anyway, I was holding him so he was reclining. His four year old sister came over to have a look, I guess to make sure I didn’t try to eat him or something. He started to work his jaws, so his sister gave me some helpful information:

“He thinks you have feeds.”

——-

Speaking of ‘feeds,’ I remember another 4 year old big sister who used to walk around carrying a 12 inch Darth Vader like a baby doll. When it was time to feed him, she lifted up her shirt and nursed him.

I don’t think he ever recovered his dignity.

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Jan 19 2009

Jiggery-pokery

n. Underhanded scheming or behavior; cheating.

Yes, it’s a real word, and not just a Wizard Swear.

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Jan 12 2009

Zounds!

If you are a fan of Spaceman Spiff from the old Calvin & Hobbes comics, you know this word. It is one of those comic-book-sounding exclamations, akin to Great Scott! that you never hear anyone use in real life.

You probably wouldn’t liken it to taking God’s name in vain, however the word actually dates to the 1600s, and is a contraction of the words God’s wounds!

Don’t ask me how I came to look this up; I don’t remember.

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