Sep 11 2011

Pastrydultery

I have long despised bananas. Maybe ‘despised’ is too harsh, but I certainly was not fond them. Before July I only ate maybe four bananas a year, just whenever I got a potassium-deficiency-induced craving. Since being diagnosed with diverticulitis, I have changed my diet significantly for the better, and eat 1-2 bananas a day.

But I may accurately state that I have always despised banana bread. And zucchini bread, squash bread, and all other heavy breads with vegetables in them. I loathe them all. Heather, being an amazing pastry chef, makes lots of other nice things anyway.

So back in the spring Kaleb brought in a dessert his wife, Mrs. Kaleb, had made. Kaleb, being a keen observer pretty much everything in a 120′ radius of his person, knew of my hatred.

KALEB: “So I got this dessert I want you to try. It’s made with banana br–.”

ME: “I don’t like banana bread.”

KALEB: “I know you don’t like banana bread, but this is so amazing.”

So I tried it. I can’t remember the exact composition, but it was made fromĀ 2 white chocolate chip banana bread cakes sandwiched with peanut butter, and frosted with a mixture of chocolate chips and cream cheese.

It was so amazing. Even so, I forgot about it.

Fast forward a month. We go to the birthday party for Kaleb’s little girl, aka, The World’s Most Adorable Baby.

It was a great party, and we had a blast, despite how sad I look in the Facebook pictures. And, we had some incredible strawberry cupcakes (I think I had like four, and they made me take two more home).

Right before we left, Kaleb mentioned something about the recipe for Mrs. Kaleb’s chocolate-cream cheese-peanut butter-banana bread sandwich.

“Oh, Daniel doesn’t like banana bread,” Heather said.

“Really? Kaleb said he loved the one I sent to work,” said Mrs. K.

Uh oh. Busted.

“Oh really?” asked Heather

It was one of those, ‘He never drinks two cups of coffee at home,’ moments, except with the implication that because I had enjoyed another woman’s desserts (in the most literal sense), I had somehow committed an infidelity, at least on a pastry level.

But, I seem to have gotten away with it.

Well, except for the marriage counseling.

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Aug 4 2011

Overheard: 25 yr old female

“I need to go feed my frustration monkey a banana.”

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